I used to think that a burden for someone else meant that I should be doing something for them. Praying, bringing a meal, sending a card, a phone call... These are good things and probably necessary. And I think that the answer to the question above is "both." Someone needs something I have to offer, and I should take away a lesson too.
"Sweetie" was an acquaintance. She had moved here from another state with her husband and child. It seemed that she could use some friends and probably a church. The circumstances of our lives were similar enough that we should have become friends. But it didn't happen. I invited her to my house but she didn't have a car. She didn't want me to come to her house. I offered to pick her up & take the kids somewhere but she wasn't interested. I invited her to the beach but she wanted her child to have a good nap. I invited her to a Ladies Night at church, but she was too tired. I invited her to a mom's get together, she wasn't interested. I brought her a meal when she was sick. I called her whenever I thought of her - figuring she needed someone to talk to like I did. I tried to commisserate over shared difficulties (lack of sleep, budgetting ideas, good deals at our mall). I learned quickly this was a mistake. Anytime I opened up, she would use it against me later. I tried to share God's blessings with her but somehow she made me feel bad or even guilty about it. So I made space. If she wants to talk, she has my number. If she wants something to do, she has my number. If we see each other, it is easy to be friendly; forgiveness has healed the knife wounds in my back. And I still have that burden for her - I still pray for her.
Is this how God feels when we reject Him? Is this what Christ felt on the cross? Of course I'm not comparing this little situation to His incredible sacrifice. But on a daily basis He offers His hand, His patience, His grace, His strength, His wisdom, His omniscience. Too often I don't see it. I have to come to a hurdle and then ask for it, when I could've taken Him up on the offer first thing in the morning.
It may sound ridiculous to some, but this is where I'm at. The lesson I am learning from this is 1) forgive, 2) forget, 3) stop throwing pearls into the mud, 4) when Help is offered, receive it gladly! The last one is so very practical! Offers of help came from every which way when Nina was born. People even showed up at my door asking if I would like a break and could they take Will to the park. Friends brought food. Someone covered my church responsibilities. I still get offers for help, but my pride has returned. Most days I could use a hand. Who wouldn't? :) But I am still learning to receive help.
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