Monday, November 20, 2006
I didn't quit
blogging, I'm just severely distracted. I've met so many good friends on my xanga page and now I'm checking the Baby Center bulletin boards all the time for pregnancy tips & help. I may end up using this as a pregnancy journal of sorts, but really, I'm just too busy to blog about the other random things that don't belong on xanga or the kids' blogs. So... I'm not dead, I didn't quit blogging, I'm just 5 other places at once!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Brides Who Don't Care Anymore
We all know them. If you were one, you probably remember that point where the details don't matter anymore, "I just want to get married!" It happens to everyone, as far as I know. But it hits at different times. Some women are just naturally not into details, some are super organizers. But eventually, each will come to a point where they no longer care & don't want to answer any more questions.
This is my year of weddings. I knew it would be. And after having been to and been in several weddings this year (with 2 more to go) here is a little something I've picked up. Most brides need one thing, one essential thing. A wedding planner. Now you can be cheap & do stuff yourself. But ONLY if you are one of those really organized people, or your mother, fiance' or future mother-in-law, or sister-in-law or any relative for that matter. My husband & I planned our own wedding and we were awesome at it. But that's because we're both really into details. And our mothers were wise enough to delegate a lot of responsibilities to friends of theirs who were also detail oriented, bossy people.
Brides, listen up. You need someone who is NOT IN THE WEDDING (and that nixes your mother) to be your go-to person on the day of the wedding. Someone to find the photographer, locate the groom when he's late or just not dressed, make sure the bouquets & corsages get pinned on BEFORE pictures, have an emergency box of things for the inevitable - the weight you've recently lost & now your dress needs safety pins, the ring bearer got dirt on his face, the flower girl spilled something on her dress & there's only 20 minutes left! Someone to answer your phone, make sure that list of "special poses" you met with the photographer about actually happen, someone to remind you to sit down & take a drink when necessary, someone to be a go-between for your parents & vendors, someone who doesn't care about all the little family drama, someone who can see above or around it & just make sure your special day is the best it could possibly be.
Since my husband & I are pretty detailed & also pretty good under pressure, attending weddings or being in them can get tense & stressful for us. We want to help, but are bound by our obligations & duties in another role: bridesmaid, groomsman, guest, family. Once I happily became the "wedding coordinator" at the last minute. The family realized there was no one to cue the bridal party that everyone was seated. Ta da! I wasn't doing anything else so I gladly offered to do it. Someone to keep a schedule & then locate the right person at the right time. Grandma Hilda isn't here yet? Why not? Didn't she know pictures were at this time? Oh "Planner," please go find Grandma for me!
I'm so NOT kidding. I'm trying to learn to let go & not be such a control freak. But my husband would be great at this. Radios all around, list of phone numbers, schedules, box of emergency supplies, first aid training, he is prepared for any situation. And he will never make you feel stressed, he makes everyone feel at peace. They know he has everything under control. So if anyone reading this needs a planner or coordinator (and don't think about J.Lo in The Wedding Planner, it can be much simpler than that!), leave a comment & hopefully we can help. :) Or if you're a bride & you've already reached the place of not caring, please be good to your bridal party & groom & mother - get a super-organized, super-bossy friend to be your coordinator/planner!
This is my year of weddings. I knew it would be. And after having been to and been in several weddings this year (with 2 more to go) here is a little something I've picked up. Most brides need one thing, one essential thing. A wedding planner. Now you can be cheap & do stuff yourself. But ONLY if you are one of those really organized people, or your mother, fiance' or future mother-in-law, or sister-in-law or any relative for that matter. My husband & I planned our own wedding and we were awesome at it. But that's because we're both really into details. And our mothers were wise enough to delegate a lot of responsibilities to friends of theirs who were also detail oriented, bossy people.
Brides, listen up. You need someone who is NOT IN THE WEDDING (and that nixes your mother) to be your go-to person on the day of the wedding. Someone to find the photographer, locate the groom when he's late or just not dressed, make sure the bouquets & corsages get pinned on BEFORE pictures, have an emergency box of things for the inevitable - the weight you've recently lost & now your dress needs safety pins, the ring bearer got dirt on his face, the flower girl spilled something on her dress & there's only 20 minutes left! Someone to answer your phone, make sure that list of "special poses" you met with the photographer about actually happen, someone to remind you to sit down & take a drink when necessary, someone to be a go-between for your parents & vendors, someone who doesn't care about all the little family drama, someone who can see above or around it & just make sure your special day is the best it could possibly be.
Since my husband & I are pretty detailed & also pretty good under pressure, attending weddings or being in them can get tense & stressful for us. We want to help, but are bound by our obligations & duties in another role: bridesmaid, groomsman, guest, family. Once I happily became the "wedding coordinator" at the last minute. The family realized there was no one to cue the bridal party that everyone was seated. Ta da! I wasn't doing anything else so I gladly offered to do it. Someone to keep a schedule & then locate the right person at the right time. Grandma Hilda isn't here yet? Why not? Didn't she know pictures were at this time? Oh "Planner," please go find Grandma for me!
I'm so NOT kidding. I'm trying to learn to let go & not be such a control freak. But my husband would be great at this. Radios all around, list of phone numbers, schedules, box of emergency supplies, first aid training, he is prepared for any situation. And he will never make you feel stressed, he makes everyone feel at peace. They know he has everything under control. So if anyone reading this needs a planner or coordinator (and don't think about J.Lo in The Wedding Planner, it can be much simpler than that!), leave a comment & hopefully we can help. :) Or if you're a bride & you've already reached the place of not caring, please be good to your bridal party & groom & mother - get a super-organized, super-bossy friend to be your coordinator/planner!
Fashion Commentary
or "What Your Friends Won't Tell You (But Should!)"
I wish I had pictures of these horrible fashion infractions.
1) Lovely young adult woman wearing a black top & white linen pants. Everything seems together until she walks past me and I see it: a black thong. A big BLACK "Y" on the upper part of her buttocks, seen RIGHT THROUGH THE PANTS. Shudder everyone. Big fashion no-no. Thong is a good idea if you have wide hips, see through pants or tight pants where any underwear at all will leave a very definite Visible Panty Line (VPL). However, if you are wearing WHITE or KHAKI or any light color, be sure that your thong is flesh tone. Wearing white underwear under white pants will only draw attention to the area, as do VPL, as do black or any dark colored underwear of any cut & style. Jeans or black pants that are tight often deserve either granny panties or a thong, simply for their VPL tendencies. Color usually doesn't matter. If you feel the need to wear a black thong, choose to wear black pants. Please. Even my husband noticed this one.
I'm usually okay with the occasional bra strap peeking out on someone's shoulder. I'm even okay with coordinating your bra & top, if you mean for it to be seen (since it couldn't be avoided). But read this one...
2)Teenage girl at the park wearing the wonderful invention of a spaghetti strap tank with built in bra. Except she's wearing a white bra underneath. How do I know? Not from the slinky satiny straps daring to escape from under the built in tank straps. Because she was wearing a RACER BACK style bra. Oh yes. And not simple cris-crossed strapps, with a full on lace panel in the middle of her back. Terrible. The purpose of having a shirt with a built-in-bra is to use it. If you need to wear extra support, choose a strapless bra, or a different tank. Mom, grandma, big sister, SOMEONE should have said, "honey I think you're not sending the right message here." Because the message to my friend & I was loud & clear: I'm too immature to think about what I'm wearing under my clothes. I only checked out the front side in my bathroom mirror.
So there's my little fashion rant for today. I'm sure I have more...
I wish I had pictures of these horrible fashion infractions.
1) Lovely young adult woman wearing a black top & white linen pants. Everything seems together until she walks past me and I see it: a black thong. A big BLACK "Y" on the upper part of her buttocks, seen RIGHT THROUGH THE PANTS. Shudder everyone. Big fashion no-no. Thong is a good idea if you have wide hips, see through pants or tight pants where any underwear at all will leave a very definite Visible Panty Line (VPL). However, if you are wearing WHITE or KHAKI or any light color, be sure that your thong is flesh tone. Wearing white underwear under white pants will only draw attention to the area, as do VPL, as do black or any dark colored underwear of any cut & style. Jeans or black pants that are tight often deserve either granny panties or a thong, simply for their VPL tendencies. Color usually doesn't matter. If you feel the need to wear a black thong, choose to wear black pants. Please. Even my husband noticed this one.
I'm usually okay with the occasional bra strap peeking out on someone's shoulder. I'm even okay with coordinating your bra & top, if you mean for it to be seen (since it couldn't be avoided). But read this one...
2)Teenage girl at the park wearing the wonderful invention of a spaghetti strap tank with built in bra. Except she's wearing a white bra underneath. How do I know? Not from the slinky satiny straps daring to escape from under the built in tank straps. Because she was wearing a RACER BACK style bra. Oh yes. And not simple cris-crossed strapps, with a full on lace panel in the middle of her back. Terrible. The purpose of having a shirt with a built-in-bra is to use it. If you need to wear extra support, choose a strapless bra, or a different tank. Mom, grandma, big sister, SOMEONE should have said, "honey I think you're not sending the right message here." Because the message to my friend & I was loud & clear: I'm too immature to think about what I'm wearing under my clothes. I only checked out the front side in my bathroom mirror.
So there's my little fashion rant for today. I'm sure I have more...
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Does Church trump all other interests?
The Do-gooders are great people. Assistant pastors, homeschooling family, lots of community outreach, volunteer at various organizations and are pillars in the church. They are well respected everywhere they go. One child is involved in a sport and does very well. One of the championship games will take place on a Sunday in the middle of service. The parents wrestle with this. Do they say the child can't play because it's a Sunday? Does one parent go to church and one parent go to the game? Do neither go to church, or neither go to the game? Common wrestling questions for parents - how to support their child in their particular interests. They decided to not attend the child's game. I'm not writing to pass judgement on their choice - it's their choice to make. But it began a conversation on the order of life.
I believe the order of priority in my relationships is
God
Family
Church
My relationship with God is first and foremost. All the others suffer when this is not attended to. My family must come next. My husband and children are precious relationships that will last into eternity. The church is an extended family of people. Some I have no relationship at all other than saying "hello," others are close friends and there are many in the middle. My church and my community are places God has placed me to both to learn and to teach. But when is it okay to let my interests, or the interests of my children override a church service? I'm not talking about a visit from the Pope, the President, Dr. Dobson or even a special event. Just a church service. I can get the tape of the sermon. I can ask the worship director which songs were sung. I can get the announcements from friends. So (in wayyy general terms) is it acceptable to skip church & go to the beach once a year? Or to go on a girl's weekend? When my kids are older and have games on a Sunday, what will our standard be as a family?
Just questions running through my head. Each family, each parent will have to make their own choices and wrestle for themselves. But in generalities, when does church trump my family? When does church trump a vacation?
I believe the order of priority in my relationships is
God
Family
Church
My relationship with God is first and foremost. All the others suffer when this is not attended to. My family must come next. My husband and children are precious relationships that will last into eternity. The church is an extended family of people. Some I have no relationship at all other than saying "hello," others are close friends and there are many in the middle. My church and my community are places God has placed me to both to learn and to teach. But when is it okay to let my interests, or the interests of my children override a church service? I'm not talking about a visit from the Pope, the President, Dr. Dobson or even a special event. Just a church service. I can get the tape of the sermon. I can ask the worship director which songs were sung. I can get the announcements from friends. So (in wayyy general terms) is it acceptable to skip church & go to the beach once a year? Or to go on a girl's weekend? When my kids are older and have games on a Sunday, what will our standard be as a family?
Just questions running through my head. Each family, each parent will have to make their own choices and wrestle for themselves. But in generalities, when does church trump my family? When does church trump a vacation?
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Privacy
Wow, if you're visiting this, you've probably been waiting for me to write here about something - anything! I started this page a long time ago because I knew sometimes I have to write & get stuff out of my system, but it isn't really news or family related and it didn't seem to have a place on the family blog. It seem that there is a contagious rash going around. I'm not sure what the name is. Somedays I call it paranoia and other days it gets called precaution. So I'm putting a little test out there to anyone who drops by. Please leave a comment. Tell me if I know you in real life or not or if we have a mutual friend somewhere or if you were just browsing and found this. There's a possibility I will be shutting down this page and the kids' pages. So I'll give it a week and watch the statistics. Some changes might be coming, but maybe not, it will all depend on me & my mood swing! Have a pleasant day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Tickers
