Sometimes when I look at you I can hardly believe that you're really here. Just one year ago I began to hope for you. Another baby, maybe even a girl? And now you're here. Flesh and blood and as cute as can be. I like to think that maybe you look like me even though we don't. But you have my hair and skin. We'll just see about the rest. There are so many things I told your brother when he was a baby and now I'll tell you the same ones. You are loved. You are wanted. God knew that your daddy & I needed a sweet little girl full of grace to be in our family. You bring joy to everyone that knows you. You are a wonderful baby. Your smile makes everyone around you smile back. You are my favorite little Nina. No one will ever be a better Nina than you are. You are so special. You already love your brother and you laugh at him all the time. When he was a baby I dubbed him my Mini Muffin - my little Mini Blueberry Muffin. And now he is bigger and isn't a mini muffin anymore, he's a big Blueberry Muffin. That makes you the new mini muffin. I wondered while I was pregnant what kind of muffin you would be. Would you be apple or currant, spice or carrot cake muffin? It turns out that you are my Mini coffee Cake Muffin. The kind of little tiny muffin that is all brown sugar and goodness with streusel topping drizzled all over for good measure. I can't wait to see how that is played out in your life. Last summer I prayed almost every night for God to give us another baby. There were tears and questions, hopes and longings. When we discovered we were pregnant with you I cried. I cried for joy. In December we found out you were a girl - our little Nina Dian. We had a boy's name for back up but we knew you were a girl already. Nina was the only name that fit you. Grace Divine. Several months later we cried and prayed for you to be born. I believe God picked the day for you to arrive, He just didn't tell me when it was. You were such a big baby and you kicked so hard! Once I think you cracked one of my ribs (well, badly bruised for sure.) I became so uncomfortable at the end but it seemed you would never come. As I put your clothes away and waited for you I would tell you about all the pretty things that were waiting for you. Shoes, hats, headbands, dresses, jammies, socks, all specially picked out just for you. Since Will came 10 days after his due date we calculated that for you. That day was Thursday, May 5, 2005. That was also the National Day of Prayer. Since Grandma & Grandpa Robbs, Auntie Manders and Daddy were all involved in that I was hoping that you would come early that morning so everyone could be there. But no, God knew it just wouldn't work the way I thought it would. Labor began early the next morning, about 3 am. You were so ready to come out & greet us, you arrive just 5 hours later. I love you. You are unique and special. You may someday think that I don't love you as much as I love Will but that is not true. God gives me a special love that is just for him and He gives me a special love just for you. They're a little different, they are expressed differently because you two are different and have different needs. You are my first daughter. You are my Gracie Girl. No one will ever be that. Even if you end up with 10 sisters, you will always be unique and loved uniquely. If you end up with 10 brothers you will know how unique you are every day! I pray now that you will always know that your daddy and I love you and that God loves you. You were a twinkle in His eye before you were a twinkle in mine. Someday soon we'll talk about that, and about so many other things. I look forward to a lifetime of being your mama.
Love,
Mama
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